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Help, my baby is ugly

September 10, 2024

Whenever I write a deeply personal blog, I get wracked by self-doubt.  

I always question whether my writing will be valuable for my readers.  Am I getting too personal? It’s a blog—not group therapy! I feel naked and fear being judged.  

I call this suite of symptoms the ‘My baby is ugly’ syndrome: the fear people might find your precious output ghastly.

This kind of fear is a shadowy world to inhabit, as this fear can stop me from challenging myself. It’s easy to stay safe, to follow tried-and-tested formulas instead of straying into the abyss of the unknown.

So, what helps me push through? I always run ‘my ugly babies’ past a mentor or people I trust. I often ask my fantastic writer’s group for their opinion. My fellow writers shoot straight from the hip, which I need when plagued by self-doubt.

Life is full of naysayers. To balance the naysayers out, you need some ‘truth-sayers’: people who have the courage to call it as it is. My writer’s group tells me if my baby is ugly or assures me that my fears are unfounded. It’s tough love, and I do the same for them.

When I get personal, what helps me the most is my audience’s strong response.

You relate to honest expressions about human frailty (the challenge is being the one who writes and shares this). However, the responses I get from you, my audience, give me swathes of courage.

So, thank you. And long live ugly babies.

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