Sometimes you need to ask, ‘Am I the drama?’

Once, I was a corporate girlie with a swipe card and pointed heels. I say that with love for my younger self. Entry-level, eager and convinced highlighters were a personality.

Our department ran on chaos, fuelled by back-to-back meetings, meetings about those meetings, urgent shifting priorities, and deadlines that were always yesterday.

The solution was to send the two most junior people, my colleague Christine and me to a time management course.

We packed fresh diaries and grabbed front row seats at the course, hoping to kiss chaos goodbye forever.

Ten minutes in, our phones lit up.
Manager: ‘Quick check in.’
Two minutes later: ‘Important update.’
Then a text: ‘Where are we with that thing about the thing?’.

We kept tiptoeing out to answer, sliding back in with apology faces like teenagers sneaking in after the movie trailers. By morning tea we’d missed more than we’d learned.

The instructor waved us over and whispered, smiling, ‘You two don’t need a time management course. Your manager does.’ We cracked up.

Obviously, we couldn’t share that gem with said manager. That would’ve been a career-limiting move of Olympic standard. But it planted a question I still use like a test on myself: Am I the drama? Not ‘Am I in drama.’ Am I the source? The plot twist? The reason this meeting has a sequel?

Here’s my quick self-assessment:

• Do I reward faux urgency with immediate replies?

• Are my requests vague or incomplete?

• Am I focusing on busy work instead of outcomes?

If any lands, the call is coming from inside the house. I pause and rethink or rewrite the ask. Wait ten minutes before replying. Radical, I know.

Self-awareness isn’t beating yourself up for being human. It’s catching yourself mid-spin and asking, ‘Am I making this harder than it needs to be?’

Sometimes the most productive move is to set a clean ask and let people do great work.

PS: Christine and I became lifelong friends. It turns out ‘meeting about the meeting’ is a great friendship incubator. Who knew.