Love, learn, leave…


imagesRecently I received a scathing email about a supposed single misprint in our book.  The writer concluded by saying they were so happy that they had only borrowed the book from the library, rather than purchased it.  OOUCHHHH!

Reading the email on the train to work, I felt I was being punched in the guts.  I might even have sworn aloud…OK I definitely did!  As it turns out, it wasn’t a misprint but an accommodation for the global market.

So, how does one give criticism/feedback in a way that is positive?  The type of feedback delivered in a way that the receiver is open to hearing it and then acting on it?  We all crave feedback and yet are loathe to give it.

Recently we faced the same challenge when running our very successful “Is there a TED talk in you?” program.  Not only did the participants receive feedback, but it was given in a group setting.  We used a wonderful frame made up of three parts:

  • Love – What I loved about your talk…
  • Learn – What I learned from it… and
  • Leave – One thing I want to leave you with (a suggestion for improvement).

Use this frame if you want people at the end of your feedback not swearing, but leaving with at least one thing they need to do differently.  Now that’s the kind of feedback we would all love to receive.

What’s the best or worst way you’ve received feedback in the past?  Please comment – I love hearing from you.

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8 Comments
  • Reply

    Best advice I’ve come across for a while. Applied the Love, Learn, Leave today… it’s my new mantra when dealing with staff feedback. I want this to become my new habit. Thanks ALEX

  • mike allen
    Reply

    I love the quality of the content in your newsletters
    I always learn from reading them
    Leave you with this thought,review your newsletter comments and get content ideas from those
    thanks
    mike

    • Yamini Naidu
      Reply

      Mike thank you so much, this is such high praise coming from you. I love how you are using the frame, love, learn and leave:) This comment has made my day!
      Best wishes
      Yamini

  • Reply

    Such a beautiful model Yamini. So much better then the typical feedback (s#%t) sandwich we’ve been encouraged to use and possibly been the recipient of for decades. Such a powerful, encouraging and supportive way to provide feedback.Thanks for sharing it.

    • Yamini Naidu
      Reply

      Stuart, thank you so much, it was the wisdom of the group that came up with the model. And now I use it all the time, especially as facilitators when we have to give feedback in a group context. Sure you are the master of some elegant frames too!
      Best wishes
      Yamini

  • Lara Bourguignon
    Reply

    So true Yamini! And so consistent with much of the advice you have provided before on presenting – think about your audience rather than yourself!

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